


Bright Eyes

by WhirlwindWolf94



Series: Hogwarts Mystery [7]
Category: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery (Video Game)
Genre: Barnaby is best boy, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, MC is bad at feelings, Spoilers, Spoilers for Year 6 Chapter 18, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26337253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhirlwindWolf94/pseuds/WhirlwindWolf94
Summary: Everyone is still reeling from the loss of Rowan Khanna, but no one more so than Winter Tepes. The loss of her first ever best friend sends her into a spiral that has her other friends worried. Especially her boyfriend, Barnaby. How will he help her? Can he help her?
Relationships: Barnaby Lee/Original Female Character(s), Barnaby Lee/Player Character
Series: Hogwarts Mystery [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441744
Kudos: 10





	Bright Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh! Why must I be addicted to walkthroughs on YouTube?! I haven't even finished year five yet! If you don't wanna be spoiled for Year 6 Chapter 18, stop reading right now!

  
A Hogwarts Mystery Fanfic

** Barnaby **

I still can't believe Rowan's gone.

I haven't felt like this since You-Know-Who drowned our family's Kneazle. One of my best friends was killed. And there was nothing any of the rest of us could do. It's only been three days and Hogwarts already feels different. Hollow. It didn't feel right to even walk into the library and not see Rowan sitting at our table. It felt wrong not to see a giant mountain of books piled on the table with slightly ruffled black hair just barely peaking out over the top. Everyone was feeling her loss, even the people who didn't know her. Madame Pince even gave Rowan's favorite books their own special shelf with a plaque that said _"In Memoriam Rowan Khanna."_

But nobody was feeling Rowan's loss as bad as Winter.

She's not at all herself. I haven't seen her smile since she came out of the forest with Merula and Ben, carrying Rowan back to the castle. After Rowan's eulogy, she disappeared for the rest of the day. The rest of us knew she had shut herself in her brother's old hideout, but none of us had any idea how to comfort her. Not even me. I could see her shaking during Dumbledore's speech, could see the tears in her eyes, but there was nothing I could do to help her. There's nothing anyone can do to help her. She just lost her best friend, watched as she was killed right in front of her eyes. Merlin's beard, nobody would blame her if she broke down in the middle of breakfast!

But she didn't.

As far as I can remember, Winter's _never_ cried in front of anyone. If she's ever cried at all. Maybe with Jacob, but he's off chasing R. But she's always put on a brave face and pretty much ignored her own problems. Instead, she focused all her energy on helping the rest of us get through this. She's obviously upset, but whenever any of us tries to touch on how she's feeling, she either changes the subject or rushes off with the "I need to feed my creatures" excuse. Either her creatures are _very_ hungry all the time, or she really doesn't want to talk about her own feelings. She feels like she always has to be strong.

But nobody can be strong all the time. Not even me. Merlin, how many times has Winter wiped the floor with me during a duel? I hope she was keeping count, because I honestly forgot. I just remember being really surprised the first time I lost to her. She was so tiny, I expected to win after a spell or two. She may be small, but she hits like a Horntail. But she's got a heart of gold under that strength. Well, not actually, I don't think. But every time she sees someone either hurting or having trouble with something, she feels it right with them. She's always there for us, going out of her way to help others. So much so that she forgets to take care of herself. What's rotten about it is that we can never tell when she needs us.

Until now.

Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the door to Jacob's old room and knocked on the door. I waited a moment before trying again. Still didn't hear anything. I know she's in there, I saw her go in. Unless she figured out how to apparate on Hogwarts grounds, she should still be in there.

"Winter? It's me, can I come in?" I called through the door.

"Bee?"

Her voice sounded rough. Like she was trying not to cry. She can't even let herself break down when she's alone.

"Yeah. I really need to talk to you, Kitten, please let me in." I pleaded, pressing my ear to the door.

After a moment, I felt the protective spells lift from the door and saw the knob move. The door swung open and I stepped in, letting Winter close the door and replace the spells. She was shaking. When was the last time she ate? Was she at least drinking enough water? Her hair was clean, but she obviously hasn't brushed it. Her skirt was wrinkled. Her usual makeup was nowhere to be seen. Not even her lipstick. She always wears lipstick. She told me once that she wears it to keep herself from picking at her lip, a habit she's got when she's either anxious, stressed, or not doing anything for a while. And I can tell she's been picking, I could see red smudges on her fingernails. Not to mention a pretty bad-looking split in her bottom lip. But what killed me were her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes were usually bright and full of energy. Now, they were dull and bloodshot. She really hasn't let herself cry, has she?

"Hey, Bee, what's wrong?" she asked, stuffing her right hand in her pocket to stop her wrist from shaking.

"You."

"What?"

"You're what's wrong. You're not taking care of yourself."

"Bee, I'm oka-"

"You are _not_ okay, Winter Tepes! You're running around making sure everyone else is alright, you're not eating, you're not smiling, you're just not taking care of yourself, Kitten, and we're worried about you!"

I didn't mean to shout. I think I scared her a bit, she jumped and shrank in on herself. I could see her wrist shaking in her pocket. I could really see her shaking now, like a Bowtruckle in a windstorm. And now that I looked at her properly, I could see her hair was more than just unbrushed. It looked like she had been clutching at it.

"You've had a panic attack, haven't you." it wasn't a question, I knew the signs.

"I. . . yes."

"How bad?"

"Bad. I fell asleep the other day, didn't mean to. I. . . saw it all over again. . . Woke up and couldn't breathe. . . Next thing I know, Bill is knocking on the door to tell me he's left a plate of food for me."

"Did you eat it?"

"No. I couldn't even think about eating. I. . . got sick soon after catching my breath."

"That's understandable after going through a panic attack on your own. Trust me, I know. But you haven't had a panic attack in over three years that I know of, and the fact that you went through one alone worries me."

". . . Three."

"What?"

"I've had three attacks since. . . the forest."

" _WHAT?!_ "

I definitely scared her that time. But at the moment, I didn't care. She had three panic attacks in as many days and she didn't tell anyone?! Not even once?! No, no I couldn't get angry. She needs me. I took a deep breath and gently gripped her shoulders.

"Winter, Kitten, why didn't you tell anyone?" I pleaded, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

"I can't break down, Barnaby. I need to break this last curse. I have to find the vault. I have to find R and Rakepick. I can't just let them get away with this! Rowan deserves better!"

"I know. And you will do all of that. I know you will. But there's just one thing you're doing wrong, Kitten."

"What? What is it?"

Giving her a gentle smile, I moved my hands to her face and rubbed circles into her cheeks with my thumbs.

"You're not giving yourself a chance to grieve."

That did something. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes went wide. I could see her tearing up, could feel her jaw clench. She was trying, I could see she wanted to let it out. But whatever walls she had built up were still standing. With a sigh, I kissed her forehead and pulled her into a hug, tucking her head under my chin. She wasn't shaking anymore, she was trembling.

"It's alright, Love." I said, stroking her hair.

"I. . . I can't. . . I have to be--"

"You're strong, Kitten. You're the strongest person I know. Expressing your emotions doesn't make you weak. Not at all."

"But my--"

"People don't cry because they're weak. They cry because they've been strong for too long."

That did it. With one gut-wrenching sob, she wrapped her arms around me and clutched the back of my jumper. She was finally letting herself cry. And it broke my heart. It felt like she had been holding this in for a long time. I don't know how many years it's been since she's had a proper cry, but I had a feeling I wouldn't like the answer if I asked. I felt her knees buckle at one point, so I picked her up as gently as I could and sat on the little couch with her on my lap. I didn't let go of her for a second, just kept stroking her hair and rubbing her back as I rocked her gently. I could feel the wet patch growing on my front, I could only imagine how much her eyes were going to sting once she's let out everything she's kept bottled up. I know a thing or two about that. I wasn't about to start asking about her family life outside Hogwarts yet, but if I find out anyone in her family drilled the idea that crying made you weak into her head, I'm going to have words with them. And maybe a duel. Statue of Secrecy be damned.

I have no idea how long we stayed there. I just kept holding her, my face buried in her hair and peppering any part of her face I could reach with kisses. If I said I didn't cry with her a little bit, I'd be a liar. But after however long, her sobs turned into soft hiccoughs and she moved her arms to around my neck.

"There we are. I know you're feeling a little better after that. It feels good to let it out, doesn't it?" I asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"A little." she said, her voice hoarse.

"Think you can handle going to dinner?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask. Here, I'll brush your hair, that always relaxes you. _Accio hairbrush!_ "

With a wave of my wand, a brush came flying to my hand. After moving ourselves so that I was sitting behind her on the couch, I started gently running the brush through her hair. It wasn't hard, her hair never tangled. I've run my fingers through it enough to know that. And doing it really did relax her. Her hiccoughs were gone by the time I had her hair tied up in a ponytail. And she smiled. Now that was a sight. Her lovely smile was almost back. I could tell she still needed time to heal, but this was a start. Giving her a smile back, I grabbed her head scarf and tied it around her head as she cleaned her glasses.

"Ready to go?" I asked, standing up and holding my hand out.

"I'm ready to try." she replied, taking my hand and letting me help her to her feet, "Thank you, Bee. I don't think I can ever thank you enough."

"Winter, you don't need to thank me for anything. I'm your boyfriend, I will always be here for you, whatever you need. Always."

"I don't deserve you." she laughed.

I've missed that laugh.

"I think that's my line. Come on, let's get some food in you."

And we were off. I kept my arm around her shoulders the entire walk to the Great Hall. We were actually pretty early for dinner, which I think was a good thing. Mostly because we got quite a few stares as we headed for her usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Thankfully, all our friends were there and made room. They looked relieved to see Winter out of that room.

"About time you crawled out of your cave, Tepes. Here, grab some chicken before Charley eats it all." Merula said, passing a plate of chicken along.

"Potatoes, too! The roasted potatoes are especially good tonight!" Penny added, scooping a spoonful of potatoes onto Winter's plate.

"I've got your tea here, just how you like it. I hope." Charlie said, sliding the mug toward her.

"You could use some cabbage, it's a good source of iron." Chiara called, prompting Andre to scoop a good amount of it onto the plate.

"Here's your bread, Winter, found the soft ones for you." Bill added, tossing the rolls to me so I could put them on her plate.

"Th-that's enough, thanks everyone." Winter muttered, taking a sip of the tea, "It's good, Charlie."

"Are you, though?" Tulip asked, leaning forward to look past Diego.

"Yeah, are you alright, Winter? How are you feeling?" Tonks added, her hair going a shade darker.

"It's going to be a while before I'm alright. But I've got a start. Barnaby helped." Winter said, poking her food with a fork.

"Knew it was a good idea to let him go after you." Liz stated, smiling.

"Yeah, when in doubt, send in the boyfriend." Fred and George chimed in together.

"That's enough, you two. Let her eat!" Badeea scolded as Talbott and Ben shoulder-bumped a twin each.

"Go ahead and eat, Winter, I swear it's way better than sandwiches." Jae said, forcing a smile.

Everyone stopped talking as Winter speared a potato and popped it into her mouth. Apparently, that's all it took for her to get her appetite back. She's always loved potatoes. But she was steadily taking bigger bites. I could see everyone else relax as she downed a slice of chicken. Even Ismelda looked like she was glad to see Winter getting back to normal. It'll be a while, but this is a good start. She even ate a slice of opera cake for dessert. And she doesn't even like cake. By the time we all finished eating, Winter was chewing on her fork. She was thinking about something. And I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"What's on your mind?" Bill asked, gently taking the fork away from her, "That's bad for your teeth."

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something." she said, staring into her mug of tea.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Tepes. Spit it out." Merula grumbled, crossing her arms.

"I. . . I know we had a vigil for Rowan already, but. . ."

"But. . . ?" I urged, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

"But Rowan told me about a tradition her family had once. When someone. . . dies, everyone in the family makes paper lanterns. They decorate them with whatever reminds them of their loved one and release them at night. It's like a wake to guide them to where they're going."

"Winter, that's brilliant!" Penny cried, smiling.

"Yeah, Rowan was family to us, so it's the least we could do!" Liz added, sitting up straight.

"I'm all for any kind of art. Especially when it's to honor a dear friend." Badeea said, her face lighting up.

"I think it's a wonderful idea, Miss Tepes."

We all jumped that time. Twisting around, I saw Dumbledore standing behind us with a gentle smile on his face.

"Professor Dumbledore! How long have you been there?" Winter asked, twisting around completely.

"Long enough to have heard. I'm glad you're starting to heal, Miss Tepes, and I think your idea is quite lovely."

"Do you think we can make the lanterns here, Headmaster?" I asked, getting excited.

"I don't see why not, Mr. Lee. In fact, if everyone is finished with their dinner. . . ?"

With a wave of his wand, Dumbledore replaced the food with everything we needed for the lanterns. With smiles all around, we all set to work. Dumbledore even took a seat with us and joined in. Now, what reminded me of Rowan? Books, for one thing. Maybe I can draw a book on one side of my lantern? Yeah, that sounds good! I can manage that. Rowan was a Gryffindor, so a scarlet and gold shield on another side since I can't draw a lion. She wanted to be a teacher, so. . . quill and parchment? Huh, designs are harder than I thought they'd be. Ummmm. . . Oh! She lived on a tree farm! I think I can paint a tree. It's kinda like a Bowtruckle with more arms. There! Just need to tie a candle under it and it's ready!

"That looks great, Bee." Winter said, sitting back and flexing her left wrist. I keep forgetting she's left-handed.

"Thanks! How's yours go. . . ing. . ."

Wow. How did I not know she could do art?! Do art? Did that make sense? But Winter's lantern was amazing! One side had a portrait of Rowan that looked like it belonged on the walls. The next side had a portrait of Rowan and her cat, Fuzzclaw. I could see a photo on the table that looked exactly like the portrait. Or, the portrait looked like the photo, rather. The next side matched a photo of Rowan with her little brother. They looked so happy, even though she was blowing a raspberry on his cheek. The last side. . .

"Hey, I remember this! This is from the Celestial Ball in third year!" I said, smiling.

"Yeah, she kept telling me how much fun she had that night. Said she was glad I convinced her and Ben to go. We all had a blast that night, it was one of her favorite memories." Winter said, giving the photos a fond smile.

"Wow! You've been holding out on us, Curse-Breaker!" Andre called, fitting a candle into his lantern.

"Yeah, all I managed to do is draw book spines." Talbott added, holding up his lantern as proof.

"It's still lovely." Winter said, honestly.

"I do believe you all have done Miss Khanna's memory justice. Are we ready to release them?" Dumbledore asked, standing with his lantern.

I am not going to comment on his lantern. Let's just say that as much of a genius as our headmaster is, an artist he is not. But we all collected our lanterns and followed him out of the Great Hall. To our surprise, Professor McGonagall was waiting for us at the front doors. And she was holding her own lantern.

"I should have known we couldn't keep this project from you, Minerva." Dumbledore said, his eyes sparkling.

"Of course. Miss Khanna was one of my students. And a Gryffindor through and through. Stay together now, everyone, we don't need anyone straying into the forest." McGonagall said very clearly, eyeing the twins.

Once we were outside, we saw Hagrid making his way toward the castle. After a few words with the headmaster, he joined us as we made our way to the little dock on the lake. We gathered at the end of the dock, letting the teachers light our candles.

"Now, would anyone like to say anything?" McGonagall asked us, looking around.

"'Scuse me, Professor, bu' I have a suggestion." Hagrid said, raising his hand.

"Yes, Hagrid?"

"I happen to have me flute. If anyone knows a song Rowan used ter love, I could play while they sing it."

"Brilliant suggestion, Hagrid. Does anyone know a song?" Dumbledore asked, patting Hagrid's arm.

To everyone's surprise, Winter raised her hand.

"I. . . I know one. She loved it, and it's quite. . . appropriate for the situation. I can write the music notes down if you like. And. . . I know it by heart." she muttered, blinking quickly.

"That'd be right nice o'ya. If yeh'd do the honor o'singin'."

Winter nodded and took a moment to jot down some notes on a spare piece of parchment. This was exciting, only a few people have heard her sing before. She tried out for the Frog Choir, but ended up giving her spot to Merula. Winter practiced so hard for it, trying to overcome her stage fright. Only Tulip, Flitwick, the Weird Sisters, her creatures, her brother, and oddly enough Snape have ever heard her singing before. After a few moments of reading the notes, Hagrid was ready. We all gathered at the end of the dock, Winter front and center, and released our lanterns. As soon as they were in the air, Hagrid started playing. And Winter started singing.

_"Is it a kind of a dream_   
_Floating out on the tide_   
_Following the river of death downstream_   
_Or, is it a dream?_   
_There's a fog along the horizon_   
_A strange glow in the sky_   
_And nobody seems to know where it goes_   
_And what does it mean?_   
_Oh, is it a dream?_

_Bright eyes, burning like fire_   
_Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?_   
_How can the light that burned so brightly_   
_Suddenly burn so pale?_   
_Bright eyes._

_Is it a kind of a shadow_   
_Reaching into the night_   
_Wandering over the hills unseen_   
_Or is it a dream?_   
_There's a high wind in the trees_   
_A cold sound in the air_   
_And nobody ever knows when you go_   
_And where do you start?_   
_Oh, into the dark._

_Bright eyes, burning like fire_   
_Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?_   
_How can the light that burned so brightly_   
_Suddenly burn so pale?_   
_Bright eyes._

_Bright eyes, burning like fire_   
_Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?_   
_How can the light that burned so brightly_   
_Suddenly burn so pale?_   
_Bright eyes."_

Blimey.

That was beautiful. Even as she got choked up around the last bit of the song, her voice was so lovely. And she actually let her tears fall this time instead of blinking them away. As gently as I could, I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. She sniffed a little and leaned into me, covering my hands with her own as we watched the lanterns make their way to wherever they were headed. I could feel the others gathering around, Bill even placing a hand on our shoulders.

We're always going to miss Rowan. There's no way we'll ever forget her. And maybe that means she'll never really leave us. She'll always be our friend, no matter where she is.

We love you, Rowan.

Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> I know there's an inconsistency with the Frog Choir side quest and how I described it. I didn't really like how the tryouts were held in the open Great Hall, so I changed them to being private ones in the Charms classroom.  
> Also, the song is from the original Watership Down film. It's an animated film about rabbits, you should go watch it! *evil smirk*


End file.
